


i'd rather not miss out on us

by cyrusbarrone



Category: The Martian (2015), The Martian - Andy Weir
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Suicidal Thoughts, first 'i love you'
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-20
Updated: 2015-08-20
Packaged: 2018-04-16 07:19:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4616349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cyrusbarrone/pseuds/cyrusbarrone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chris gave him an empathetic look and closed off his quarters. He wandered in and fixed Mark with a look, breaking the mask that Mark was still accidentally keeping up. Chris' tone was serious, eyes sincere when he broke the soft quiet of Mark's crying, "I missed you, Mark."</p><p>Mark had missed him, too. Not in the same way that he had missed the others, NASA, Earth. He'd missed him for more than the fact he'd of been able to heal his aching back when he was making that damn rock slope... He'd missed the way his mouth curved when he smiled, or the way when he laughed you could see the crooked teeth he had.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i'd rather not miss out on us

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on an ask that was sent to steviebucks.tumblr.com from spacebucky.tumblr.com
> 
> spacebucky asked: ok but imagine the night after mark gets rescued. think about a happy reunion with chris and lazy kisses all night, followed by mark trying to take it further and chris stopping him because "you broke multiple ribs watney, and you have a mild concussion." imagine mark staying up and telling chris everything he couldn't report back to earth. think about mark confessing how much he really, truly missed him.
> 
> title from: she's the prettiest girl at the party by frank iero

Until it was time for bed Mark had spent time with his crew. He was relishing every moment of human contact that he could get, and the crew was just as happy to talk to and be with him as he was them. He'd be the first to admit that he was as clingy as an octopus to his crew until it was deemed bed time, he'd leeched up everything he could about their time without him. In return he boasted of his 'mad botany skills' and how he basically owned Mars now, like seriously he was going to talk to NASA about how the planet was definitely his when they next had contact. 

Still, that didn't mean he wasn't glad to get some quiet time. That meant slipping into Chris' quarters and letting the mask slip off slightly. He was going to cry again, god he'd been doing that a lot since he landed back on Hermes: bawling like a fucking baby. 

"Sorry," said Mark, laughing a little around the tears that had begun to slide down his cheeks. "It's happy tears. No more disco!" he deflected, because he didn't want his crew to think of him as the cryer after he'd survived a fucking year and a half on Mars but he couldn't help it.

Chris gave him an empathetic look and closed off his quarters. He wandered in and fixed Mark with a look, breaking the mask that Mark was still accidentally keeping up. Chris' tone was serious, eyes sincere when he broke the soft quiet of Mark's crying, "I missed you, Mark."

Mark had missed him, too. Not in the same way that he had missed the others, NASA, Earth. He'd missed him for more than the fact he'd of been able to heal his aching back when he was making that damn rock slope... He'd missed the way his mouth curved when he smiled, or the way when he laughed you could see the crooked teeth he had. Mark had missed the way he'd give lectures on the wellbeing of your body, or when he was concentrating he would get a little crease between his eyebrows and he would go sorta quiet. He'd just missed his Bossy Beck, plain and simple.

Mark smiled a little bit, wiped away his tears around another small laugh. "I missed you too, Doc."

The Doctor's eyes softened a little, and Mark didn't know what do. Thing was Mark was chicken shit, didn't know if - despite Chris gushing his feelings too him after getting him out of his rank EVA suit - it meant that he could follow his urge to lean and kiss the doctor. Give him some credit, it ain't like he had much experience with hints and boys: he'd studied botany for fucks sake, hadn't exactly had prospective boys or girls lining up outside his room.

Chris' smile disappeared a little when they just stood and stared at one another, Mark's cheeks still stained with tears and Chris aching to comfort. As the quiet pulled on a guilty look filled Chris' eyes and his mouth twisted slightly, making a line; "It's okay if you don't feel the same, Mark. I shouldn't have thrown all my feelings at you, it wasn't fair- it was taking advantage... Hell you hadn't seen anyone in a year and a half and here I am thinking it's okay to say I fucking love you. I'm sorry."

Mark's eyes widened and he shook his head quickly, hands lifting up quickly and grabbing his face. He pulled him in and kissed him. It took a couple of seconds before Chris responded, and his hands moved to rest softly as they kissed for a couple of seconds. 

Mark pulled back first. "Stop looking so guilty, man," he said, because he hated the look that Chris wore openly on his face implying that he had forced Mark to accept his feelings and forced him to reciprocate them, too. He hadn't, Mark had liked him long before he'd known about Beck's feelings. "You haven't forced your feelings on me, what the fuck? I was just tryna figure out if I could kiss you because us Botanists apparently need a bigger hint than 'I love you'-- which, yknow, ditto. I mean, same, I love you too."

Instead of getting the look of love and adoration that Mark had imagined from Beck, he got laughter. Chris' eyes sparkled with happiness and the crooked teeth he had showed as he laughed loudly, only stopping to gasp on air and giggle a little more as he asked, "ditto?"

Mark had the audacity to blush. He sat down on the edge of Chris' bed and slapped his hand over his face. He flopped back onto the (super soft, a marshmallow/cloud hybrid that he never wanted to leave) bed, and, attempting to ignore the pain that flared at his ribs he tried to defend himself. "I've had nothing but Martian rocks and potatoes for company for the past year and a half; I'm allowed to have lost any smooth talk I had."

Chris was still laughing though; that cute, stupid laugh. He quieted down to a couple of chuckles every few seconds when he moved and lay down next to Mark. He found his hand on the duvet and slid their fingers together before turning his head and smirking: "Instead of 'I do' are you gonna say 'ditto'?"

Mark squeezed Chris' hand, ran his finger tips over his knuckles. He turned to meet his gaze, "what? You thinking about proposing already, Beck?"

Chris blushed, smacked a gentle hand against Mark's arm before silencing him with their second kiss. It was a mix between careful and clumsy, the both of them wanting to figure out how the other liked to be kissed. Within a minute or so they'd gotten the hang of it, hastened by the excitement of their reunion. 

Chris laid on his side and Mark had his head turned as they kissed, hands running gently over one another and mapping out one another. Mark's fingers pushed into Chris' hair, thumbs pressing over his ears and he pulled away though kept their mouths close: "did you have your ears pierced?"

Chris nodded, pushing up to kiss Mark again. "Four in each ear," he said against Mark's mouth, his own hands settling just on Mark's shoulder's. "Two lobe, middle and a ring at the top."

"Bossy Beck is a punk," he hummed, "who'd'a thought it?"

Chris rolled his eyes and got back to business. Wrapping his arms around Watney's neck (carefully: his neck still ached from his head being thrown around from turbulence in the MAV), Chris pulled the other astronaut back to kissing him. 

The kiss soon became heated again, enjoying the exploration of new territory. Mark's hands settled on Chris' ass and the other shuffled a little bit closer, humming invitingly before coming to his senses and pulling back both from his mouth and body.

"Nope," said Chris, the Doctor side of him resurfacing. He licked at his bottom lip and combed his fingers through his mussed up hair. "You have three broken ribs and a mild concussion, and your pain meds are going to wear off soon."

Mark made a disappointed sound, but nodded in understanding. Chris was right, everywhere was beginning to ache again, a dull pain that would only get worse and he knew that if they were going to be further it would be better when he didn't need as many pills as his grandmother. 

"Thanks, doc," Mark hummed, tilting his head and pecking the corner of Chris' mouth. He smiled when he felt his lips begin to curve into a smile. 

It was decided that they were actually going to get into bed then, and the next ten minutes were spent putting on pajama's (it was nice to wear something comfortable again, and Mark was certain that he never wanted to wear anything other than sweat pants and hoodies for the rest of his life) and brushing their teeth. 

Once in bed, Chris carefully cuddled up to Mark. He sandwiched Mark's left leg between his two (thick, gorgeous) thighs, an arm gently laid over his stomach and his face pressed against his shoulder. Mark had an arm wrapped around him that fiddled with his hair, twisting it around his finger. 

After a while of quiet in the darkness of the room, Mark spoke. "Chris? I can talk to you about anything, right?" he asked, turning to him slightly in the dark. His spare hand found Chris' on his stomach and held on.

Chris nodded against Mark's shoulder and squeezed his leg reassuringly between his. "Of course," he said, "yes."

Mark let out a sigh. He could tell this was going to end in him crying again, because Mars had made him into a cryer- he would probably, back on Earth, now be one of those people that cried when something happy and lovely happened. 

"I was so scared," he admitted, biting the inside of his lip. "I knew I had to do everything to survive but some days I... Somedays I'd rather of looked at the dose I'd made up from the medical kit. I nearly took it twice, Chris."

It pained Chris to hear this, and he squeezed his legs together again, pressed a small kiss against his shoulder and urged him to continue.

"Sometimes I wished one of you were stuck on Mars with me," admitted Mark, shamefully. "it was selfish, and me and whoever wouldn't of survived: not enough food for one let alone two... But I just wanted company so badly I forgot it was selfish to want someone there, too."

As an after thought, Mark murmured, "I really fucking missed you Chris." Tears prickled his eyes, stinging. He sniffed. "I missed you so much."

Chris knew that the entire crew had wished they'd stayed a little bit longer to find him, knew that Commander Lewis still blamed herself and that he too felt the residing guilt of reading off and stats and being wrong. He knew that the wish for another on the red planet had been reciprocated, now, through the entire crew.

Chris sat up slightly and leant over to wipe Mark's tears away. He pressed a small kiss to his mouth. "I missed you more than anything, Mark Watney," he said, looking at him through the darkness that made him look grey and grainy. "I love you."

Mark bumped their foreheads together and Chris could hear the smile in his voice when he said: "Ditto." he supposed that was their thing now. A couple of seconds later Mark confirmed; "I love you, too."

Then the seriousness disappeared. 

"But, if one of you losers were there I wouldn't of been the first person to grow shit on Mars," said Mark, lightening the tone and smiling a little bit. "I'm a bucket full-a 'firsts'! You shits would'a stolen my statue of success; my Nobel peace prize if you'd of all been stuck there!"

Chris scoffed. "Nobel peace prize?"

"Shh," Watney hushed, flapping his hand around until it landed square on Chris' face. "It's the biggest and best prize I could think of."

Chris licked Mark's hand, laughing loudly as Mark snatched his hand away in disgust. "Sure, you'll get to meet the queen and everything when we get back on land," he said, snuggling back down and closing his eyes. He was happy to go to sleep on a more positive note and would listen to Mark's thoughts when they woke. "They'll create a new award for you: first man to colonize a planet."

Mark smiled and pressed a kiss against Chris' hair, glad that they had adverted from his sad confessions of loneliness on the red planet. "Damn straight."

**Author's Note:**

> tell me what you think!! my tumblr, if you want to follow my trash blog: freddeebaxter.tumblr.com c:


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